Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Stages of Pregnancy

A friend of mine recently posted this photo to my Facebook:

I completely agree but since I need to have an opinion on everything, I felt a few other stages of pregnancy should be mentioned as well:

1. Can't leave the toilet.
2. Can't leave the kitchen.
3. Can't leave the toilet.

1. It's a secret!
2. Why is no one noticing my pooch?!
3. Quit fucking talking to me about my unborn baby and being pregnant!

1. Keep the baby in!
2. Keep the baby in!
3. Get the baby out!

1. Severely superstitious and paranoid.
2. Less superstitious and paranoid.
3. Wishing for the sweet release of your own death.

1. Bad.
2. Better.
3. 'Bout to get *real* bad.

1. Shopping.
2. More shopping.
3. Most shopping.

1. Can smell everything within in 10-mile radius.
2. Can't breathe for the life of you.
3. Get ready to pant like a dog.

1. Miserable.
2. Happy and excited.
3. Miserable.

1. Emaciating-ly skinny.
2. Pleasantly plump.
3. Beached whale.