Saturday, October 20, 2012

Dating After Marriage

No, that is not in reference to the Will-Smith-Jada-Pinket-Smith "open marriage" every one claims they have in order to keep their union thus far successful. I'm talking about dating your spouse after the ultimate date, and especially after having a kid.

Jacob and I had an unusual courting, which makes the already complicated task of post-commitment dating even more difficult; not only were we out of practice, we had never actually done it in the first place. We met when we were little kids, and the last time I saw him was when I was 10. He found me (not in the creepy, stalker way that sounded), we communicated through the magic of technology for months before actually (re)meeting, and we jumped headfirst into a relationship. Our official first date was when he came to Florida to help me move in with him in Montana.

Our first official date at a very quaint Italian restaurant in Tallahassee, Florida. I know, totally sounds like an oxymoron, right? (May 2009)

Present-day, we've been married for almost 2 and a half years, have a child, jobs, responsibilities, budget, and everything else that prevents people from having any sort of social life. But from the 3rd month of Zoey's life - when we first started sending her to her Grandparent's for sleepovers - we knew that a break from being parents, and time just being with each other was needed. I can't explain it. Maybe its "checking in," "reconnecting," or any of other crap you read in magazines, its just a nice time to hang out and just be friends.

Our dating skills needed some honing, though. Celebrating our first anniversary meant falling asleep on the couch until it was time for dinner; then falling back asleep on the couch until it was time for bed. We then eased into going out by ordering take-out and eating it at home. The last few times, though, we've taken the opportunity to go to a restaurant and be waited on, sometimes even more than once in the same weekend. This weekend we were fortunate for another date night.

 Yeah, we had a pretty awesome time. We got dressed nice and - since we've decided to give up chain restaurants (IHOP the next morning is totally permissible) - went to Ciao Mambo in downtown. We had adult beverages, amazing meals, and some good laughs. And Jacob is pretty sure his shirt got the next table talking about Trailer Park Boys.

We decided to continue the festivities with a stop at the liquor store but didn't get one drink in before we - yes, you guessed - fell asleep on the couch. We got up to go to bed and slept a collective 23.75 hours. We cleaned up, got some early-afternoon breakfast from the aforementioned IHOP, had a nice chat with our neighbor, then took the long way to go pick up Zoey.

Per usual, Zoey had a good time at her grandparent's, and was happy to be home. We enjoy our dates nights and it helps us appreciate our day-to-day home life, which we feel re-charged to get back to. Dating after marriage doesn't happen nearly as frequently as before (or it happens about the same, if you're us), but it can be a whole lot better.