Wednesday, January 4, 2012

A Rockin' New Years Eve

New Year's Eve is a night for us young-folk to unload our children on to our parents so we can go out and act like it's our 21st birthday. That first part is exactly what we did; that second part, not so much.

Jacob and I always have a bucket-load of things we want to do whenever we're baby-free, him working on his car, me reading, painting my nails, and bringing the laptop out of the no-baby zone, and - of course - falling asleep at a moment's notice without feeling like a completely unfit parent. What we plan never actually happens, of course, and aside from the fact that the world would be turning another year older, our baby-free weekend was pretty much exactly like all the rest.

We dropped Zoey off in Columbus shortly after 10:30am. Like always, we took the long way home, then decided on some IHOP breakfast. No joke, we were paying the bill and walking to the car just after 12:30pm. We got home and around 2pm parked ourselves in front of the big screen television, armed with more Netflix and hulu options than you could possibly imagine. It wasn't our end-game, but that was where we stayed for the next 24 hours, minus the 7-for-me and 10-for-him hours we were sleeping. We were so full from breakfast, with a serious lack of gumption to figure out another meal for ourselves, so we didn't even bother to get up and do that. Do you want to know what we did? Hold on to your hats.

We spent the bulk of our time imprinting the couch with our ass marks watching documentaries. We learned all sorts of things, like about dogs (2 documentaries worth, thankyouverymuch), summers and autumns in Yellowstone National Park (1 documentary each), nature's deadliest animals in Australia, one man's drug-fueled, mostly naked road trip across the country in the late 60's with his equally drug-fueled and naked friends, how life on other planets is being discovered, and the hidden city of pre-biblical Petra. We also learned that we have zero tolerance for American-made documentaries, the Nature's Deadliest being the only one we suffered through, trying to learn something from the over-dramatized reenactments and the narrator's dramatic voice inflection. So annoying to listen to the movie-preview voice for over an hour.

We did that most of Saturday afternoon, then broke from the routine Saturday evening to watch Horrible Bosses. My mom was right - that movie is pretty foul. But funny. At least that's what Jacob told me since I fell asleep shortly after it started; and I'm sure hijinx ensue when these Office-Space-ers set out to kill their respective bosses. At least I think that's what happens.

Since I was still asleep when the movie ended, Jacob used the opportunity to play a video game. I woke up from my couch nap long enough to walk myself to bed. I woke up at 11:45pm to find a passed-out-with-game-controller-in-hand Jacob still in the same place I last left him on the couch. And without the television, radio, or cell phones all a-glitter with New Year's festivities, we wished each other a happy new year. Before hitting the hay shortly after 12:30am, we checked in with an overly-orange Dick Clark, and Dick Clark-in-20-years, Ryan Seacrest.

I woke up on Sunday a little after 6am; cruel and unusual punishment for someone who had a baby-free night and is allowed to sleep in on this rarest of occasions. But I've come to accept my body's supreme desire to not sleep and relish the early morning hours when I am the only one in the house that is awake. At this point, the dogs don't even bother me to let them outside. So when I woke up on Sunday, I made what I consider to be morning coffee, took the computer, and planted my ass back in the groove it had created the day before. And did nothing but read the New York Times, Washington Post and (I hate to admit this) Fox News politics sections. For four hours. I'm hard-core like that. I was actually a little bummed that by 11am there wasn't anything new or updated, and by then Jacob was awake anyway so we had breakfast while continuing our docu-thon.

We sat on those cushions until it equaled a full 24 hours (not consciously, mind you, it just happened to work out like that) then headed off to collect our Snuggle Muffin. Zoey had a wonderful time as usual, and took the opportunity to show her Grandparents how friggin' smart she is. If you ask her to show you her eyes, nose, mouth, butt, belly, feet, and toes, she will. She still needs a little help with the difference between nose and toes, though. If you prompt her, she'll say please and thank you, and she pretty much mimics everything you say and do. She loves to play a game I'll call "Giant Baby," where I hold her above me like she's a giant, shout, "OH NO! Giant baby!!" and make walking motions while going, "DUN DUN DUN DUN," she'll climb on top of me on the couch, bounce and say, "DUN DUN!" She's interested in practically everything and has a brain like a sponge and says the craziest words like ostrich, elephant, garbage, Cheerios, and last night as I was changing her diaper, feces (ok, I said it first, but she immediately repeated it. Create the rest of the conversation at your fancy).

We had a yummy dinner of salmon, rice, steamed veggies, and a tasty cranberry jello thing, Zoey even having - and liking - a sampling. She does love her food, and she's willing to try most anything. For some reason, I've noticed, she doesn't like a lot of cheese...like an over-abundance of cheese....

We got home a little after 8pm and Zoey was immediately off to dream-land. It was a rude-awakening, having to get up and go back to the normal schedule on Monday. But the weather has been very nice - in the high 50's! - so that helps keep the January blues away. I am glad to be home today, the house is beginning to look like a very cluttered mausoleum. Then tomorrow my mom is coming to stay with us for the month. I can't wait for her to see and really "experience" Zoey. She really gives you quite the work-out.

We hope everyone had a safe and wonderful start to the new year! However you chose to ring it in...... Personally, I'm a bit bummed the holidays are over, for no other reason than the snack tray is gone from my kitchen table.