Friday, September 16, 2011

If You Write, It Will Happen

It would appear that the moment I decided to start writing about things, things to write about started to happen; I constantly find things to be aware of and then tell you fine people.

As you can imagine, I'm enjoying my new part-time schedule. Mer and I had scheduled haircuts at the new salon and day-spa in town, which I thought a splendid way to spend my almost-Friday evening. It was a longer night that we had expected but pleasurable nonetheless.

We arrived at the spa at 6:30pm and immediately given a tour of this hidden treasure. To walk in, it appears to be like any other hair salon, but walk through the back door and you're taken to a land of relaxation, quiet, calm, and - most importantly - extremely dim lighting. Before getting started, Mer and I enjoyed the Relaxation Room with sofas, tea, hot cocoa, coffee, and snacks. Mer got her hair done first, while I sat nearby and relayed all of the semi-interesting (and, of course, downright foolish) celebrity gossip. The lady cutting our hair - who couldn't have been older than Mer and I - was nice enough, quiet, and obviously tired but still very friendly, cordial, conversational, and professional.

Conversation eventually drifted from people we don't know but love to judge, to people we do know and love to judge - our husbands. As a rule, I don't partake in husband-bashing, as other women sometimes do, mainly because I love my husband more than life itself. But I'll generally poke fun at his expense when he's not there to defend himself, then tell him all about it later. Later on, our random, meaningless conversation took an interesting turn. This is how it went:

Hair lady: "Wait. Did you say your husband's name was Jacob?"
Me: "Yes."
HL: "And your last name is McIntyre?"
Me: "Yes."
HL: "I know Jacob (as I had suspected, since he knows everyone in town and I'm pretty sure he keeps being reincarnated as himself.) I sold him a car."
Me: "OMG, the Honda?! So you dated, Jacob, then."

Yup, that's right, Mer and I's hair was cut by a former flame of Jacob's. Actually, as I found out later, they were more than just a flame, that he cared about her, wanted to be with her, but she took him for granted, cheated on him, and eventually stopped talking to him and moved away. After I deduced who I was speaking with (Jacob had told me snippets of his past relationships in exchange for knowing very little about mine), she voluntarily offered, "I was in a bad place when we dated. You are very lucky, you have an incredible guy." It is always heart-warming to know people outside of someone's immediate family thinks they're great as well. You won't find anyone saying anything like that to Jacob. At best, he hears, "Better you than me, man!" with a questioning look.

Our conversation then continued to rotate around random idiocy, the mundane of our daily lives and how Jacob fit into it. She was nice and never pushy, and just generally interested in the evolution of Jacob's life since she last spoke to him. In return, I tried to make her feel as comfortable as possible, even upping my friendly quotient to the brink of annoying. As awkward of a situation as it was for me, my heart went out to her. What a random thing to have happen to her on a Tuesday night! She was just rounding out the end of her day when her past waltzed through the door looking to be pampered. Not only was she under pressure not to fuck up my hair, she was under pressure not to fuck up Mer's hair too! I've been in her position before and it is....interesting. I'll just say that niceness is very much appreciated.

When I told Jacob what went down at the spa, he was surprised, and a little bit of the anger he felts towards her long ago bubbled to the surface. We were always hesitant to talk with each other about past relationships because it made us squirm to even entertain the idea, but we ended up having a mature discussion about our pasts (well, his more than mine). It is inevitable when it just comes screaming in to your present. And it made me realize the reason we walk on eggshells around each other: all of our previous relationships went down in drama-soaked balls of fire, only to breed a certain level of hatred and contempt for certain people, or others who remind us of those certain people. There is not a second of the day when Jacob and I aren't completely thankful for finding each other and having the opportunity to create a life together; we never want our relationship to even come close to imploding so there is a high level of over-compensating that ends up happening. But - as the super-aware person that I am - I have noticed this starting to wane as we continue to be together; it's all part of us getting to know each other.

She told me she had some things of his and wanted to give them to me the next time I was in, nothing major, simply some photographs of high school days (and not necessarily of the two of them), the spare key to the Honda, and a set of snow tires. Her main concern was getting these items to him - through me - and that he was happy. She expressed on more than one occasion that she was glad to know he was happy and plodding through life. She seemed happy as well, albeit very busy, with 3 jobs, working towards two degrees, and children of her own.

The world is a very strange and small place, and it enjoys proving it to us when we least expect it. We have loved each other since Kindergarten and I thank every God in the universe that I'm the fortunate one to snag him. So I'll just keep on writing and just brace for whatever happens next.

P.S. She did a fantastic job on our hair! :-) (I wanted to post a pic, but I can't seem to find it and am afraid I might have accidentally deleted it.)